The Power of Choice
Written by Varya Asuma
There is a distinct feeling you get when a friend invites you out to dinner or an event. Your heart is warmed when someone confides in you with their secrets, brings you into their reality, or when they include you in their project as a financial donor. It's true, that feeling of inclusivity is what we all yearn for as we go through life because we as humans are creatures of community and companionship. However, there is such a thing as overcommitting yourself. You can find yourself saying ‘yes’ to anything and everyone that it becomes a burden.
The individual who includes you as a financial donor is asking you to commit your money. This is the easiest thing to say ‘no’ to because with material possessions, you either have it or you don’t. And since you cannot magically make money appear, you expect the other party to understand the circumstance.
Another way you can overcommit yourself is with your time. That friend who invites you out to dinner or an event is asking you to commit your time. This becomes a little harder to say ‘no’ to, especially if you have a pleasing type of personality. Somewhere along the growth pattern of socialization that we learn as children, we feel that to make and keep friends, we have to do what they ask so we don’t disappoint them. It’s only as you get older, find your assertive voice, and learn to prioritize that you have the confidence to say ‘no’ to some situations that demand too much of your time.
The individual who confides in you with their secrets asks you to commit and invest your emotion. In involving your emotions, they involve your heart, which is a very sacred space that you should only commit to those who you hold dear. I’m not talking about surface-level emotions. I mean the kind of pain and injustice that moves you, as the confidant, to action. The kind where you want to hold that person, hug and protect them. This type of emotion requires you to give from your storage of emotion; from that heart space that is meant for those loved ones. There is nothing wrong with giving emotionally to others, but allow yourself time to replenish that storage before you give again.
Out of the three commitments of money, time, and emotions, the latter one is the most destructive to overcommit. Emotional exhaustion weighs heavily upon every other aspect of your life. It impacts you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Remember that all of these scenarios have something in common; they involve a request, a question. You have a choice. You can say ‘no’ sometimes because you have that power. Don’t be afraid to be selective about where you invest your time, money, and emotions because a healthy you always comes first.
The individual who includes you as a financial donor is asking you to commit your money. This is the easiest thing to say ‘no’ to because with material possessions, you either have it or you don’t. And since you cannot magically make money appear, you expect the other party to understand the circumstance.
Another way you can overcommit yourself is with your time. That friend who invites you out to dinner or an event is asking you to commit your time. This becomes a little harder to say ‘no’ to, especially if you have a pleasing type of personality. Somewhere along the growth pattern of socialization that we learn as children, we feel that to make and keep friends, we have to do what they ask so we don’t disappoint them. It’s only as you get older, find your assertive voice, and learn to prioritize that you have the confidence to say ‘no’ to some situations that demand too much of your time.
The individual who confides in you with their secrets asks you to commit and invest your emotion. In involving your emotions, they involve your heart, which is a very sacred space that you should only commit to those who you hold dear. I’m not talking about surface-level emotions. I mean the kind of pain and injustice that moves you, as the confidant, to action. The kind where you want to hold that person, hug and protect them. This type of emotion requires you to give from your storage of emotion; from that heart space that is meant for those loved ones. There is nothing wrong with giving emotionally to others, but allow yourself time to replenish that storage before you give again.
Out of the three commitments of money, time, and emotions, the latter one is the most destructive to overcommit. Emotional exhaustion weighs heavily upon every other aspect of your life. It impacts you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Remember that all of these scenarios have something in common; they involve a request, a question. You have a choice. You can say ‘no’ sometimes because you have that power. Don’t be afraid to be selective about where you invest your time, money, and emotions because a healthy you always comes first.
Creating Influential habits to become the most influential person
Written by Tenneh
Certain people just got it, they step in a room and “BOOM” all heads turn and all eyes on them. They’re the type of people no matter where they go, they always add value to the space and lives around them. They’re admirable. They have a special ability to inspire others. They motivate us to do things that we’re too afraid to do. They influence us by the way they live their lives each day. They give us strength and hope when things get rough. You always learn something new whenever you’re around them.
You can be this person! Having the right attitude and values can influence the people around you. Your character plays a major role in becoming influential with others. Having good communication skills is a must. Your communication skills have to be so powerful that when you speak it makes people stop and listen. Believing in yourself is also a major key. Believing in yourself is the foundation for others to start believing in you. When you feel bold and confident, please believe that people will naturally be drawn to you.
Always speak politely to others, and avoid being the person that knows it all. Talk to people in a way that they feel respected and important. Use words that build people up and create an impact on them. Be genuine and kind in your words and also treat people with respect. Respect is one of the core values in life. People are more likely to trust you if you respect them. Becoming an influential person is based on your character. The more positive character traits you exhibit, the more influential you will become.
You can be this person! Having the right attitude and values can influence the people around you. Your character plays a major role in becoming influential with others. Having good communication skills is a must. Your communication skills have to be so powerful that when you speak it makes people stop and listen. Believing in yourself is also a major key. Believing in yourself is the foundation for others to start believing in you. When you feel bold and confident, please believe that people will naturally be drawn to you.
Always speak politely to others, and avoid being the person that knows it all. Talk to people in a way that they feel respected and important. Use words that build people up and create an impact on them. Be genuine and kind in your words and also treat people with respect. Respect is one of the core values in life. People are more likely to trust you if you respect them. Becoming an influential person is based on your character. The more positive character traits you exhibit, the more influential you will become.