5 TOP TIPS FOR MAKING AN ONLINE DATING PROFILE
By Tessa Mac, May 29, 2021
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I have been a dating coach for 6+ years and have crafted over 800 custom dating profiles in my career. Time and time again, I see clients baffled by the idea of creating a dating profile. They waste so much time and energy trying to choose the perfect photos and write the perfect bio, only to discover they aren’t getting matches. Or maybe they are getting matches, but not the types of matches they are looking for. Through these experiences, I have learned what works and what doesn’t. To make this easy for you, I have included my 5 top tips on how to optimize your dating profile for success so that you can attract the types of matches you desire.
1) Start and end on a hot note: I recommend having 5-6 photos on your dating profile. Once you’ve chosen your best photos for your lineup, make your most attractive photo your 1st photo, your second most attractive photo your last photo, and your 3rd most attractive photo your 2nd photo. The reason for this is because people tend to remember how journeys start and end, with less clarity about what happens in the middle. This is why it is so crucial to save your 2nd best for last. Typically, you’ll notice people have their photo line-up go from best to worst. Haven’t you ever seen a really cute guy or girl but by the time you get to the last photo you’re like “is this even the same person?” You want to avoid this by reinforcing the fact you are attractive at the beginning and end of your bio. You’ll want to use portraits for the first and last and a full body shot for your second photo. In the middle, you can showcase different aspects of your life such as hobbies or travel to paint a diverse, captivating narrative. 2) Your dating profile should be just as much about the other person as it is about you: People often make the mistake of treating their dating profile like their diary, it’s all about them. Here’s a wakeup call: YOUR DATING PROFILE IS ANYTHING BUT YOUR DIARY. The purpose of a dating profile is to attract OTHER people. The way to ensure you don’t end up spending the entire text on you is by directly addressing the people you’re speaking to. Take the following example: “Me: into deep conversations, cute dogs, and red wine You: likes Harry Potter, chocolate, and spontaneous weekend adventures.” By simply adding a “me” and “you” section to your bio text, you can express what type of dynamic and who you’re looking for effectively and in a way that paints a picture in the reader’s mind of what spending time with you looks like. |
3) Get Crystal Clear on What You Want & Then ASK FOR IT:
You can’t expect the right people to see the value in matching you if you’re throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping for the best. Before crafting your bio, you want to think about who specifically you’re looking to attract. A relationship? A hookup? Casual dating? Whatever the case may be, get crystal clear on what it is and then SAY IT. For instance, you can say something like “Looking for a relationship and meaningful connections.” If you aren’t sure what you’re looking for, you can also state that by saying something like “Not looking for anything in particular. Open to anything from dating to friendship.” Being direct is the best way to attract ideal matches. Ask and you shall receive.
4) Focus on the Positive, Save the Negativity for Somewhere Else:
The point of a dating profile is to showcase who you are in the best light possible, which includes framing your statements with a positive spin and doesn’t include negativity. I see SO many dating profiles that say things like “No drama” or “If you’re a Trump supporter, don’t bother.” This type of negativity is adding poison to precious real estate. Instead, you can reframe the statements to something more positive such as “Looking for someone who believes in kindness and clear communication” or “Bonus points if you voted for Biden.” Use the power of words to your advantage and always frame your statements in favor of what you want to invite into your life, not what you’re trying to repel.
5) Always have a Call-To-Action in your bio:
Having a Call-To-Action (CTA) is SUCH a key part of any dating profile bio and yet SO few people take advantage of its magical powers. If you think of your dating profile through the lens of marketing, with you being the product, not having a CTA is like pitching your product and then not presenting your audience with a chance to buy. By including a CTA to the end of your bio, you are making people feel welcome to reach out to you. The more approachable you are, the more people will feel comfortable talking to you. And the beauty of a CTA is, you get to create this welcoming energy before even making contact with the person. It sets the tone for any future conversation. A good CTA doesn’t have to be complicated - it can be as simple as saying something like “Feel free to message me and say hi.”
Try these tips out and see if they work for you!
@tessamac
You can’t expect the right people to see the value in matching you if you’re throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping for the best. Before crafting your bio, you want to think about who specifically you’re looking to attract. A relationship? A hookup? Casual dating? Whatever the case may be, get crystal clear on what it is and then SAY IT. For instance, you can say something like “Looking for a relationship and meaningful connections.” If you aren’t sure what you’re looking for, you can also state that by saying something like “Not looking for anything in particular. Open to anything from dating to friendship.” Being direct is the best way to attract ideal matches. Ask and you shall receive.
4) Focus on the Positive, Save the Negativity for Somewhere Else:
The point of a dating profile is to showcase who you are in the best light possible, which includes framing your statements with a positive spin and doesn’t include negativity. I see SO many dating profiles that say things like “No drama” or “If you’re a Trump supporter, don’t bother.” This type of negativity is adding poison to precious real estate. Instead, you can reframe the statements to something more positive such as “Looking for someone who believes in kindness and clear communication” or “Bonus points if you voted for Biden.” Use the power of words to your advantage and always frame your statements in favor of what you want to invite into your life, not what you’re trying to repel.
5) Always have a Call-To-Action in your bio:
Having a Call-To-Action (CTA) is SUCH a key part of any dating profile bio and yet SO few people take advantage of its magical powers. If you think of your dating profile through the lens of marketing, with you being the product, not having a CTA is like pitching your product and then not presenting your audience with a chance to buy. By including a CTA to the end of your bio, you are making people feel welcome to reach out to you. The more approachable you are, the more people will feel comfortable talking to you. And the beauty of a CTA is, you get to create this welcoming energy before even making contact with the person. It sets the tone for any future conversation. A good CTA doesn’t have to be complicated - it can be as simple as saying something like “Feel free to message me and say hi.”
Try these tips out and see if they work for you!
@tessamac
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Learning to Create Lasting Bonds
By Rukayya Zirapur, May 29, 2021
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Being a relationship coach has not always been easy because I am often questioned about my expertise simply because I am not married. People don't realize that you do not have to be married to experience things. I have not only experienced falls in relationships but I have learned about human behavior. Growing up, the majority of my relationships were really toxic. This has allowed me to have the vast knowledge that I do have.
I am trained to coach couples, however, I do not only focus on dating and sexual relationships, but also friendships, parents and colleagues. I have learned that a relationship can only become strong when it is mutual, has connection, and has more communication and understanding. When people fail to understand what creating a connection means, the relationship becomes toxic, hurtful and not long lasting. It creates detachment. |
Understanding the differences in people such as their nature, their behavior, and accepting them as they are creates a lasting bond. A bond cannot be created without putting effort before expecting efforts. To nurture your relationship, you need to only focus on what you give, how you give, not only what they give and how they give. Your constant efforts will in return attract them back to you, creating an everlasting bond. Once we grasp this understanding, we create a space for strong lasting relationships.
For more tips on creating healthy relationships, check out Rukayya Zirapur at rukayya.com and @rukayyazirapur on social media.
For more tips on creating healthy relationships, check out Rukayya Zirapur at rukayya.com and @rukayyazirapur on social media.
